Well,
well. It's been quite some time. I've been on the grind working on
submitting plays, applications to programs, finishing a novel and
anthology, “organizing” in the community for food justice, food
sovereignty, economic and health justice, among many, many other
things. I've got a lot to talk about but today I feel drawn to talk
about queer people of color and views on gender.
I came
across some posts a few weeks ago about the way that certain
masculine of center folks want to be addressed by male pronouns or to
their children as dad or to their friends as bro/brother. There
seemed to be consensus on this particular thread that this wasn't ok
and that these “MOC's” were “trying” to be something they
weren't or that they needed to “try” harder if they couldn't pass
with others. Lots of policing around gender expression happens
in the queer community. I used to think that because we were queer or
identified as LGBT that we had this innate ability to be more
understanding about variance in our community. But, this was and
continues to be a detrimental assumption. After all, what is the
queer community but a microcosm of society with all (and maybe even
more of) the same ailments of the community at large (of course with
some variation and nuances). Sometimes queer people of color can be
the least forgiving. Not all the time, but sometimes. Especially when
it comes to gender. Perhaps if we knew a little bit more about how
our conception of gender came about and our true history, we'd let go
of rigid western european views and embrace a more comprehensive view
of ourselves, as our ancestors did.
First,
let's get on the same page. This is from good old Wiki and good enough for our purposes, I guess:
A
gender
role is
a set of social and behavioral norms
that
are generally considered appropriate for either a man or a woman in a
social or interpersonal
relationship.
There are differences of opinion as to which observed differences in
behavior and personality between genders are entirely due to innate
personality of the person and which are due to cultural or social
factors, and are therefore the product of socialization, or to what
extent gender differences are due to biological and physiological
differences.Gender
roles differ according to cultural-historical context, and while most
cultures express two genders, some express more. (Androgyny,
for example, has been proposed as a third gender. Other societies
have been claimed to have more than five genders,and some non-Western
societies have three genders –man,
woman
and
third
gender.)Gender
expression refers to the external manifestation of one's gender
identity, through "masculine," "feminine," or
gender-variant or gender neutral behavior, clothing, hairstyles, or
body characteristics.
Our
(Hir)story
The
way our community views gender today is not rooted in our (read: POC)
traditions. During colonization our traditions were repressed and
during slavery, western patriarchal notions reigned supreme. Men were
supposed to keep their women in line. Men were to have power over
women in all spheres. Especially the “public spheres.” Westerners
believe whatever gender is predominant in/controls the public sphere
(i.e. business and trade, etc.) has the most power. Many
have pointed out that this isn't true when applied to pre-colonial
African society. Though anthropologists argue that power and
authority are vested in, or come from, who controls the public
domain, in African society women are involved in both the public and
private domain. In pre-colonial Africa women had a role in
business as well as were revered in the home. Their voice in
decision-making for their communities was extremely important. Though
we see remnants of this today, it seems that our society is caught up
with certain types of power being “masculine” or “feminine.”
Masculine power trumping feminine of course.
Our
ancestors, before and during slavery, functioned with the
complementarity of gender roles, meaning they "shared power" while complementing one another's roles.
com·ple·men·ta·ry:
Combining
in such a way as to enhance or emphasize each others qualities.
Though
there was hierarchy in male and female roles in both the public and
private sphere and some hierarchy between the sexes in some aspects
of African life, it wasn't the same as the uneven balance of power in
relationships between males and females in western society.
We've got to abandon the
colonizer's mentality and focus more on the significance of the
complementary roles that our ancestors had. (This is not only true
for Africa but also true in Mexico, Central and South America- and
most colonized lands).
Women
had the dopest roles of all as healers. In some parts of Africa,
women were seen as more intuitive and closer to nature and nature is
extremely important in African cosmology and spirituality. You see,
Nature is respected not only because of its association with the
Supreme but also because of its relevance to humankind. Imagine that!
So, the fact that a woman is thought to be more attuned to nature
points to her significance to the tribe as a powerful mediator and
channel of the Supreme Being in a healing capacity.
So,
for our ancestors, the relationships between males and females was
different. Gender expression and roles were completely different. Not
rigid and suffocating. Our ancestors weren't invested in the same
kinds of ways that westerners/ the colonizers are in gender
determining your role. There were societies in which women took on
“male roles” and “maleness,” becoming “male” for certain
social or spiritual reasons. There were certain Native American
societies where men lived as women and women as men. Two-spirited.
And this was honored and respected. People weren't expected to be
polarized on either side of the spectrum for the sake of defining
roles and knowing what pronouns to use.
If you
look at the literature there are some societies with 3 genders, 5
genders, and more. They aren't restricted to this male-female binary
which determines almost every aspect of western life. What you're
going to wear. Maybe even where you can work or what position you can
have. Or how much money you'll make. What bathroom to use, etc,etc.
Basically- how much power you're allowed to have and how you should
be treated. For better or for worse.
What a
shame that people get so stuck on gender presentation and expression
that they can't relate with another person. These days it's grounds
for isolating people. It's grounds for aggression and injuring or
killing others.
Gender
Variance and Healing
Two-spirited,
gender non-conforming people have a long past as healers. Dig and
you'll find this out. (I'd start with Leslie Feinberg's Transgender
Warriors- if you've got others, let me know.)
Being
between genders- neither male or female or maybe being both, was
thought to be a gift in the past, and still is considered sacred in
some societies today.
In
many shamanic traditions, there was the idea that combining the
characteristics of both sexes and both genders could connect one to a
transcendent spiritual realm. Two-spirited folks were messengers of
the Creator, visionaries, dream interpreters, keepers and teachers of
spiritual principles, and medicine people. They were called on to do
burials, bless unions and births and perform other ceremonies.
Because they embodied both Mother Earth and Father Sky and held both
a masculine and feminine heart within their souls (two spirits), they
were perceived as having twice the power. They were thought to be
more able to be fair and to be able to see into the hearts of males
and females. Since they inhabited both masculine and feminine in one
body they were thought to be able to “see” with both the eyes of
men and women. This made them mediators and bridges. They were also
seen as mediators between two worlds- that of Spirit and the human
world, as well as between partners, tribe, and nation. In older world
religions, the gods and goddesses in-between genders were viewed as
whole-gendered and therefore balanced.
In
fact, the suppression of our gender expression can be seen as a
barrier to our wholeness. Some say that two-spirited people/gender
non-conforming folks are an “affirmation of humanity's pre-gendered
unity”. We're the representatives of this previous form of
solidarity and wholeness that was present before the split of humans
into men and women. Put that in your pipe and smoke it genderphobic
colonizers.
Decolonizing
our Minds
We
have got to continue to decolonize our minds. Forget everything we've
been taught and search for the oldways. We have got to reclaim our
traditions because the “education” we are getting now is not
serving us. In order to survive- no, thrive- we've got to begin to
care about the constant poisoning of our knowledge-base and the
severance of ties to our traditions.
In
Amerika, the multicultural melting pot, we are stuck on differences.
Some search for commonalities. I'd like us who consider ourselves
“radical” or visionary to move past this and connect to the
spirits of others and see their humanity. What's truly radical is
seeing that we all want happiness and that we all want to avoid
suffering. The Dalai Lama once talked about how this was how he was
able to relate to so many people from so many walks of life. It's not
radical to point out the differences in ideologies, others faults,
and why we're better/more educated/more radical than others.
What's
radical is holding people within your community accountable for their
transphobia, misogyny (internalized and externalized), misandry,
xenophobia, racism, fat phobia, etc. Check folks. Call them out.
Challenge people. Why is a transwoman funny? Why is someone who has
taken estrogen or testosterone or who had had surgery more trans or
more legitimate and taken more seriously than a person who hasn't?
Why is it taboo for two masculine of center folks to be together? Why
is it okay for homophobia to exist within trans circles? Why is it ok
for transphobia to exist within the queer community? Why is it ok
for a gay male to be a misogynist and why is the patriarchy recreated
within the LGBT community? Why do we mostly hear from white trans
folks? If trans people of color are the most marginalized and the
folks being murdered at a higher rate (an astronomical rate), why is
there little discussion and only support one day out of the year?
An
elder transwoman on a recent trans panel discussion I was on
demonstrated something profound. She took out a Tibetan singing bowl,
held it tight with one hand and attempted to strike it to make it
sound. There was an ugly clank. She tried again. Same. She let go of
the bell and struck it and a it made a beautiful sound that continued
to resonate for some time. She said that in society when people deny
us our expression we are denied our authenticity and are like that
bell that only clanks and isn't given the opportunity to sing. When
society allows us to express our true selves and be who we are, we
are able to truly sing like when she released the bell and struck it.
What
are you saying, Toi?
Simply
put: The policing of gender (and other identities), especially in the
QPOC community, must STOP. We've got to decolonize our minds.
De-assimilate. We need to know our (hir)story and reclaim the
oldways. We've got to understand that our ideas on gender are limited
and that they are a detriment to our community and the community at
large. And we've got to hold others accountable. Including ourselves.
Afro-Genderqueer Street Philosophactivist out...
www.afrogenderqueer.com
